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Photo provided by: Denise Kovalevich
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COLD Bassist Lindsay Manfredi has made a name for herself within the music world thanks to her dynamic fusion of precision, power, and emotional depth. Her signature style not only stems from her personal connection to her art but her commitment to authenticity – and herself. This technical proficiency, emotional depth, and unwavering dedication to pursuing the ultimate truth is what has led Manfredi to another chapter of her long and storied career. That of a successful author.
Manfredi has just released her second book The Girl Who Cried Love: A Pivot to Self-Worth, which she describes as her “most vulnerable and empowering work yet.” Blending the grit of rock ’n’ roll with the honesty of personal transformation, this memoir is about breaking free from toxic relationship cycles, healing from heartbreak, and reclaiming personal power.
As an avid reader and a fan of Manfredi’s debut book, Unf*ckwithable: A Guide to Inspired Bad*ssery, as well as huge COLD follower,I was eager to speak with her about her new release. What I learned is that you never can judge a book by its cover. And when it comes to Lindsay Manfredi, expect the unexpected.
Guitar Thrills (GT): Hi, Lindsay, and welcome to Guitar Thrills Magazine! I am so excited to speak with you today.
Lindsay Manfredi (LM): Thank you for the opportunity!
GT: As the bassist for Cold, you’ve lived much of your life onstage. How has your experience as a musician shaped the way you tell stories in writing?
LM: As an artist, I feel like it’s important to bare your soul. It’s such an honor to be in Cold and play for such a passionate and present audience. We open the parts of us that are uncomfortable and vulnerable. As scary as it is, there is also such fulfillment in it. Artists create through fire and whatever your canvas is, the most important thing you can be and what people feel is when you connect with a truth that is universal. I use the same rawness and passion in my story telling. People assume just because you have your dream job and you’re a “rock star” that you have it all together. Most of the time, that’s simply not the case. Most of us struggle with the same things. We are all human and have flaws. We all struggle at times with connection and knowing when to let something go. I think that performing has all given me strength to be as real as I can be.
GT: Rock music often thrives on honesty and grit — do you see parallels between performing on stage and writing your memoir?
LM: Absolutely. I wrote this book intentionally with that honesty and grit. Hell, I was living most of the stories I share while being onstage. I hid so much of my pain and my truth behind an unwavering confidence and smile. But I had some toxic cycles that needed to be broken. I believe that vulnerability creates connection. I’ve been seeing it in the reviews and messages that have been pouring in as it pertains to the book. It’s proof that when we share the messy, unpolished truth, we give others permission to feel the same and do the same – just as music does for us all. It connects us on such a spiritual, visceral level.
GT: How have fans of your music responded to you sharing this deeper, more personal side of yourself?
LM: It’s been resonating in a way I had no idea it would. I had hopes it would be relatable, but the response and support and messages have been overwhelming in the best way. Fans have been sharing stories with me, and I truly feel like it’s helping others. My goal for the book was to help create a space for readers to look at their own stories and make new decisions moving forward based on the toxic cycles they’ve been contributing to. Looking at ourselves is hard. There are tragic tales inside all of us, and many of those have shaped us, but there is always beauty in tragedy when we look for it and grow from it.
GT: The Girl Who Cried Love is described as your most vulnerable work yet. What made now the right time to tell this story?
LM: There are a few reasons why this book came out right now. First off, it was time. I was going through one of the hardest seasons of my life and found myself pouring into cups that did not pour back into me. And when I really analyzed it, I found that it came from childhood wounds and experiences I had never addressed. Hell, some of the things I wasn’t even aware of until they began to pour out on paper. Another reason why this needed to come out now is because we all need collective healing. I believe it’s time for all of us to refocus and really heal. The only way change can happen outwardly is to address our old patterns and beliefs. We need love, kindness, and positive change more than anything right now.
GT: The book blends memoir with a message of empowerment. How did you balance personal storytelling with universal lessons for your readers?
LM: For me, that’s a natural process. Within every hard story is a nugget of wisdom we can take away and better our lives. Some lessons we obviously learn over and over. The overarching theme of the book is that it’s difficult to expect the best from others when we don’t expect the best from ourselves. It’s easy to look for others to save us, but that’s impossible. We are the only ones with the power to transform our lives. We are the ones who need to put in the work. I found that I put up with breadcrumbing, non-commitment, and an array of toxic behaviors because deep down, I didn’t believe I deserved better. I had to go deep and pretty much disappear to really understand what true self-worth meant. When you’re clear on what your values are, what your purpose is, and what you will or will not accept, it’s much easier to let go of the people or patterns that are not serving those things.
GT: You write about breaking free from toxic relationship cycles. Was there a specific turning point that inspired you to reclaim your self-worth?
LM: Oh yes. It was definitely when my last relationship ended. I thought I wanted to marry this man. And I look back now, and I am so grateful that it didn’t work out. I continuously found myself shrinking myself and making myself small for someone’s else’s ego and insecurities. Also, I hid parts of myself out of fear I’d be too much. I share a story in the book about a time he was watering my plant. That really became the catalyst for me realizing that no matter what I did or how much I supported that person, he would never do anything outside his comfort zone to make me happy. That was the beginning of the end for me. If we are going to be in relationship, we need a ride or die. We need people in our lives to give us the same kind of energy we give them. I never had that, even though I dreamed of it “one day.” We can’t wait around for people to change. They rarely do. I believe in change, I’ve changed, but I know the work I put into it, and unfortunately, not everyone wants to face hard truths or address their past and how it affects them today. Accountability can be really scary. It’s not for the faint of heart.
GT: Writing about heartbreak and personal struggles can be raw and difficult. What was the hardest part of reliving these experiences?
LM: Every part of this was difficult, especially the last part of the book as I was recalling the past four years. I was in the depths of my pain writing this. But I had to also take accountability for the role I played in that pain and not blame anyone else. And as I had to read it over and over again through the editing process, and then had to listen to it over and over again when I was editing the audio, it was hard af. I have found however, that this was the most necessary thing for my journey and my purpose.
GT: Your first book, Unf*ckwithable, was a guide to empowerment, while this one is more memoir-driven. How do the two books connect, and how are they different?
LM: I feel like there is a clear evolution between the two books. While my first book was all about resilience and standing in your power, I think The Girl Who Cried Love depicts how hard that can be sometimes. It’s easy to lose ourselves in external things. I believe in the power of meditation and spirituality so intensely. Without tapping into an energy source outside us and having an unwavering trust that everything is happening for us and not to us, shit can be pretty bleak. My hope is that my readers and listeners turn inward and really get to know and love themselves so much, that they are limitless in their creative possibilities and contribution moving forward, which is the theme of both books.
GT: You’ve worn many hats: musician, author, TEDx speaker. How do you see your role as a storyteller evolving?
LM: I ultimately want to be coaching and speaking more when I am not on tour, and I want to create a bi-yearly retreat for people who struggle with the same types of things I’ve struggled with. If I can help others by sharing my stories, and they can, in turn, rewrite their own stories, then it’s all worth it to me. I also see a podcast in the near future. But one thing at a time.
GT: If you could give one piece of advice to your younger self, the version of you still caught in those cycles, what would it be?
LM: Everything you lose, creates space for everything you need. Feel the loss, honor the loss, then celebrate the loss, because there is something even greater on the other side. When you believe it, you will see it.
The Girl Who Cried Love: A Pivot to Self-Worth is available wherever books are sold, including Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and independent bookstores nationwide through IngramSpark distribution.
Learn more about Lindsay Manfredi at www.lindsaymanfredi.com.
Follow Lindsay Manfredi on Instagram @lindsaymanfredi
